"Latin is a dead language," Maurice said. Lewis replied, "No, YOU'RE the dead language." Then he offered him a drink. Maurice, in his naivety, drank the liquid. He suffered and di d absolutely all the tiring and draining things that only an academic could do. Maurice was like that. Melba toast. Footnotes. Sweaters. He actually caused an entire wedding to stop for nearly three hours when he decided the groom needed a shower...yeah, not a pretty sight. I could have lived with his skin peeling off from whatever Maurice Put on it as a salve. The induction ceremony went on, regardless, and the groom was delayed. The social justice warriors said the groom was to sacrificed for the gorilla because it was time for some affirmative action to reninstate gender balance on the whole sacrifice-the-virigin-to-the-gorilla social more. The social justice warriors tied the groom to a A Shrewdness of – Apes. Darwin, dare win this battle of the Genes. I was once evolving just like you are now but i put an end to that nonsense by putting my foot down. Not on a tree but on the ground. With the help of a friend, I put my mind in a sling and spent the rest of my life producing nothing but beautiful thoughts. I did not further the economy. I did not further mankind. I did not further myself to work. But I was sought after, so much so that I eventually found a nice perch on the highest peak in the Himalayans where the bewildered would come sit at my feet & listen to me talking to myself. Some ascended that mountain for the aroma of my feet, some to be purified by my nonsensical babbling, others for the shocking existential disappointment. But all left transformed.

 

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