The drum up coffin business Zev decided to sell a calender with young women dressed up as zombies possing with his coffins, so he put an ad in the paper, but when no models would agree to pose semi-nude in his coffin, Zev felt grave. He needed to dig deep and resurrect his failing coffin business. Celebrity endorsement's! He called Ben Stein who was out hiking on a bush trail and couldn't receive his call. Ben Stein had missed the sign warning of Drop Bears. The giant koala-like creature with massive claws loomed above as Ben re-tallied the bills in his wallet. "3600, 3700,.." The drop bear took a swipe at his head but missed when Ben tripped over a human head. He rolled on his side and cringed as The drop bear shattered glasses into 3,500,534 pieces. One piece got into Ben 's eyes. Ouch! There was blood everywhere the drop bear went, it seemed. He was banned from shops. So the drop bear was only allowed to live in trees.The only way he could make a living was to drop on naive tourists. My friend taught me how to speak Australian to prevent attacks but I always avoided the need to render that service. I chose to live far from the peril but my new Australian accent followed me to Pitcairn Island. The drop bears stowed away abo ard the ship couldn’t wait to land on Pitcairn to inhabit the trees and drop onto unsuspecting islanders for a quick meal. With a population of 50, though, Pitcairn as a food sourc -e was much too high in saturated fats for the inhabitants, and they soon died from heart attacks due to the high cholesterol. Since no doctors had bee present at the time of their ingestion of the food, the population was wiped out in a devastating global extinction. It really was a shame that simple saturated fats had brought this noble race to their knees.

 

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