Her breath, smokey with condensation, cut through the air like you would expect after eating so many garlic chips in under one minute. She asked me for gum and I gave her an informational packet about the negative long-term effects of artificial sweeteners. Unamused, she decided to go for the real stuff. She poured the simple syrup into her iced coffee, stirred in some milk and looked up to see an old man was looking at her boobs. She quickly covered them with her purse and screamed. A man nearby rushed in and much to her chagrin also proceeded to stare at her boobs...or so she thought. Soon the man saw the T-Rex approaching quickly, with its baby arms and razor-sharp teeth. However, it was distracted by the eyes of a bush baby, so he tried looking up the ™ symbol on an ipad... He failed miserably! "BOO-YAH"! said the homeless man as he passed. If only he could see how I was really living. The lies, the deceit, he would probably stay in that dumpster.

 

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