Jack Knight donned his helmet & lowered the canopy. He'd wanted to be a fighter pilot as long as he could remember but lived in fear his jet would explode in a fiery plume of death . Jack kissed his fingers and touched them to the photo of his wife and child taped to the interior cockpit of the F-17 WarEagle. He released the safety, pegged the throttle and switched on the targeting computer. The voice of his dead F-17 sensei echoed in his head. "Jack, let go. Trust your instincts." Jack switched it off and fired, hitting a comrade who exploded into a hellish fireball. "Whoops!" His dead F-17 sensei said, "Ok, turn your targeting computer back on, forget your instincts, idiot." Jack flipped the wrong switch And set the world on fire, literally. It got him promoted faster than his parents ever expected. After all, his liberal arts degree was next to useless. It was not important if he sold his soul to them to cinch the deal. It just didn't matter to Nigel anymore. So he sold his soul away and reaped all these great rewards but he didn't feel it as a profit. When the soul bubble burst, Nigel felt a pang of relief that he had sold his soul in the nick of time, which was who now held his soul: Saint Nick. Santa had been doing some off-trading during his summer break, and had picked up enough souls to start his own afterlife camp. Nigel watched blandly as Santa stuffed his soul into his sack and rode off into the night. He knew he shouldn't think of Santa that way, but what choice did he have? After Nigel saw him stealing souls, all he could think about was how he had been manipulated. Crushed, betrayed, and bewildered, Nigel stumbled into the night, dragging his blankie behind him. We never saw Nigel again. Christmas is a bittersweet day for us even today.



1 LordVacuity's photo

If Nigel says he’s happy, he must be happy, he must be happy, in his way.

2 Woab's photo

“Nigel isn’t outspoken, but he likes to speak and he loves to be spoken to.”

3 LordVacuity's photo

^I blame my sappy memory for getting the quote wrong.

4 LordVacuity's photo

In my defense though, I think my lyric works better.

Reminds me of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns & Roses. The lyrics in question is:

“I’d hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain”

The lyric I hear:

“I’d hate to look into those eyes
And see a trace of pain”

It is subtle I admit, trading the repeated ‘n’ sound against the repeated ‘a’ sound. However, meaningwise, an ounce of pain is a lot more than a trace. Presumably, one would like to see the least amount of pain in a loved one’s face.

5 LordVacuity's photo

Another one is “Stepping Out” by Joe Jackson. https://youtu.be/PJwt2dxx9yg

The lyric there is:

“We are young but getting old before our time”

What I always heard:

“We are young but getting it all before our time”

Makes more sense to me.

I’m just saying.

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