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Slugman glared at me as Joyce from Forensics

  • Slugman glared at me as Joyce from Forensics reported that all five mucusy trails were concocted from mucilage and olive oil. "Slugman, I owe you more than an apology. How about

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  • a coffee with 3 teaspoons of salt?" Slugman frothed at the idea of salt but thanked me for the offer and said he was feeling kind of sluggish and headed of home to his wife Sluglad

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  • ys. Slugman and Slugladys knew a love that went deeper than any mammal could know. Slugladys was a spinster until she reproduced Slugman, and in time they became husband and

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  • sauerkraut. The accommodation period was lengthy; Slugman, at first, found the proposal unnatural and preposterous. But he eventually capitulated to Slugladys suggestion, realizing

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  • The cooking shows on the tellie were fake, phony and false. Chef Klaus The Great cooked sauerkraut and made it look too easy. Making sauerkraut was real hard work. Like gardening,

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  • Which is something that General George Armstrong Custer never had a flair for even though he had a flair for everything. Right now, though, it was a flare he was wanting. Klaus was

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  • flaring his nostrils, much like he had in "Aguirre, the Wrath of God" as he watched the flare rise and burst in the sky. This little spit of an island was the only place he had

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  • ever found a patissiere who did not balk at his idea for a mille feuille interlaced with Lucky Charms. To have his ingenuity spoiled by a quiet death at sea was unthinkable.

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  • But then, Napolean himself was exiled, he thought. And great minds have been laughed off this planet for such concoctions as donuts with maple and bacon in flannel beard lands

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  • caped dioramas. His stop motion advert pitch with talking donuts didn't win over the execs at Dunkin's but it did win honorable mention at the Borscht Festival.

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