Once upon a time there was a kitten called Sophia,Sophia is a homeless kitten at the SPCA.One day Someone adopted her to there home but Sophia didn't know that they were very mean people who forced her to use proper spelling and grammar. "I am a kitten, for the love o' Mike," spat poor Sophia as she knotted the bedsheets and climbed out of the house. Alone she found her way through the bramble bushes and swampy mire to the little gingerbread house at the top of sugar gum drop hill. Sophia knew the rumors but was so hungry that no matter what, she had to kill herself. She didn't think that it would be a very good idea to eat the house, as she had read hansel and gretel."Those are such ugly names," she thougt Hansel almost jumped out from behind the bushes when she said their names were ugly but Gretel held him back. They watched her break up the gingerbread house and stuff it into her mouth. Not even a crumb remained of the ginger bread house. "That does it," Hansel thought. This time, Gretel didn't hold him back as he lept out of the bushes towards the woman. "Look," cried Hansel. "I don't know who you think you are, but you had no business eating the entire house. You left nothing for me & my sister!" The woman belched. "Shuddup, ya little dung! I do as I ple-HMMPH! HMMPH!" Gretel had burlapped-sacked the old woman's head and was now choking her. "Hansel! Open the oven!" she cried. "We can eat her instead!" Hansel was on board for this idea, "we really could use the protein!" He opened the oven and helped Gretel shove the old coot in. He then did a bad Gordon Ramsey impression, saying "I look like Gein but without the jars!" Hansel and Gretel held each other and smiled as they watched her burn. There would be enough meat and candy to last them a time.

 

Comments

1 LordVacuity's photo

I take it the oven wasn’t made of gingerbread like the rest of the house.

2 Woab's photo

Maybe it was a microwave gingerbread oven.

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