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DEAD END read the rotted wooden sign at the

  • DEAD END read the rotted wooden sign at the end of the track. With the mist closing in, Henry knew that his path had doomed him. Night would come soon, and with barely any fuel in

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  • his riding mower he'd have to push through the rampant weeds on foot, but he wasn't going to back track. The Kiwani gang was surely not that far behind. He pulled out hand sheers

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  • and got to chopping. He carved a path of green carnage, slicing stems and leaves with ferocious abandon. He became so engrossed in the act of destruction that he didn't see the

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  • carnivorous plant people who had been following him, their eyes bright with righteous green tears. How dare he destroy those plants when there were so many mammals that needed to

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  • culled. Mammals just like him. Something had changed. He knew it right away. The plants had made their decision and their decision depended on my report of the state of your civili

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  • zation. They were passing the buck to me. So the fate of two completely opposed civilizations would rest upon my decision. I did like Chinese food. I thought that was good enough.

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  • I decided in backing the Chinese claims against the British. Which is exactly what the Government did and it turned out to be a disaster and 3,314 of my countrymen died because of

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  • an incident involving a misunderstood letter, 3 delivery trucks and roughly a ton of fortune cookies. The newspapers dubbed the incident "The Sunflower Chronicles" for no reason.

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  • Actually there was a reason. The incident was the culmination of a long series of unrelated events all involving sunflowers. Fortean. Journalist Steve Heliotropism discovered

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  • that the flower's hallucinogenic capabilities were, in fact, the reason why the crime happened. Luckily, the flowers were made illegal, never to be seen again. Right?

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7 Comments

  1. MarbleMint May 11 2018 @ 18:11

    My gosh, this got way off-topic.

  2. LordVacuity May 11 2018 @ 18:22

    I don't think so. Never being seen again is a kind of DEAD END.

  3. Wendillon May 12 2018 @ 01:59

    I wonder what the plant people thought about sunflowers being made illegal....

  4. Gibber May 12 2018 @ 02:31

    Sorry about doing a 180 on the "for no reason."

  5. SlimWhitman May 12 2018 @ 14:29

    Sometimes a 180 is just the thing: Isn't that what they do in the next episode of a cliffhanger?

  6. Gibber May 12 2018 @ 15:21

    Yes, a bit more elegantly.

  7. LordVacuity May 14 2018 @ 00:29

    First they came for the Sunflowers. I was not a Sunflower. I remained silent.. Then they came for the cliffhangers. I was not a cliffhanger. I remained silent. Now they are coming for the DEAD ENDS. I am a DEAD END. Who will speak up for me?

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