Someday I'm going to realize that one thing that I didn't realize, at the time, that was the only thing I needed to realize and why I never realized it. Until that realization came : I was God. It should have occurred to me long ago, I suppose, when I'd tried to scratch my back & parted the seas. "Odd," I'd thought at the time.Then there was that time when I sneezed and the water bottle on the book shelf fell over. That moment, 4 years ago, was undeniable, otherwise inexplicable, proof that I was God. Mom gave me a "God" nametag too. "God, you're stupid," Mom would say to me, and "God, you're a pain," until even I became convinced that I was, in fact, God. I would stand on hilltops and point angrily down at the plebes below. Thanos had it all wrong. Instead of halving life, it needed to be doubled. As God, it was my purpose to inseminate as many living things as possible. I looked around, searching for any suitable females to bear a deity's children, but there were only goblins. "Wait a minute," I thought, "I'm a god!" I snapped my finger and in an instant, where you can choose stories by tag. where you can see user profile. a fragment of the created text. where visit information is given. likes. comments and coffees (donations to the needy are routinely diverted to pay for the lavish lifestyles of the charity operators.) How many times would the world have to go through this before they learned the lesson? The easiest answer was to flush the world and its inhabitants down an industrial sized toilet, but that would wreak havoc on the Universes water supply. I consulted Lord Vu on the most economically resourceful way to dispose of a universe, but he just decided to use a giant space cannon to explode the world. Absolutely typical...

 

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