Can you teach a bear to dance? One can only try! But what do you use to motivate a bear? What does it eat? Stan consulted his encyclopedia. Meanwhile, the bear was becoming restless and hungry... for vengeance. Stan's encyclopedia stated that bears were primarily motivated by food. Stan didn't have any food, except for the carcass he was still using. The bear approached, growling Stan brandished the carcass at the bear, but gingerly. He didn't want to have to kill another nun for this ritual and those postmortem tattoos couldn't be done with a sharpie. But the bear wasn't interested in Nun Carcass, it wanted the 12 jelly donuts in Stan's mini. The bear charged the mini, Stan chucked the nun and the bear backhanded it into Space. The final frontier. The nun was now a cultural time capsule, ready to be the Earth's ambassador for any passing alien to find. Well, at least that would be true if she hadnt been launched with an trajectory taking her to a rendezvous with the black hole Cygnus X-1. Sister Francesca ended up becoming nearly immortal due to the warping of space-time. "Whoa, deep stuff" said Theodore Logan as he witnessed Sister turning into a white dwarf. "Dude, that's totally wasted." piped Bill S. Preston as he hit the pound key. Time warped agaaaiiiin~. Just then the time-traveling phone booth reappeared, and the Master stepped out with his goatee unfurled. "Quickly, you pair of idiots, get in here." Bill and Ted said no thanks, because now that they had found out about Xbox, cellphones, dsl, Facebook and medical marijuana , it would be too gnarly to return to 1989. Party on, dudes!

 

Comments

1 m80's photo

I *like* it!

3 jaw2ek's photo

Liking the bill and ted.

4 Zetawilk's photo

Keanu Reeves’ only decent role.  Yeah, it’s harsh, but we writers exaggerate.

5 sundancer's photo

Hahahahaha nice ending!

6 Zetawilk's photo

Yeah, it’s really morbid.

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