29

Letter openers are just so boring. Especially

  • Letter openers are just so boring. Especially the one I got as a St. Patty's Day gift. My uncle was cool like that; giving gifts on random holidays. Sadly he missed the mark with

    4
  • his Pope John XXIII bottle opener he gave us one Easter. We called it "The Popener", but this offended my uncle, a pious man. After that, his gifts became banal. My birthday

    6
  • Gift was a grey-faced swatch with mauve armband dappled with abstract olive shapes faintly reminiscent of

    2
  • of a folded pressed collection of boogers. He hated the Swatch, what he really wanted was

    3
  • a juvenile partially armored threespine stickleback or the love of a good woman, whichever was easier to find at 3pm on a Thursday. He grabbed his seine net and headed down to

    3
  • the Lavender herb patch to try for humming birds. Stickleback roe and humming bird tung's simmered in honey mead became a fishy smelling glop with hallucinatory properties sought

    2
  • by the Republican National Committee as a way to lull poor people and other low income workers to ignore their fishy offerings and

    3
  • wear leotards in the parade. You see, fish matter less when you've got Glenn Beck on your side. OMG, I just love his hair! And his glasses! And his cute

    2
  • way of pursing his lips and furrowing his brow when he's deep in thought. I hope we'll always be together here in

    2
  • in the center of this small fishing town. The smell of fish, the taste of salt water, and all the minnows that we could ever possibly eat for the rest of our lives!

    2

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!