"The Joy of Sex and Cooking" recommends Buttercream

"The Joy of Sex and Cooking" recommends Buttercream Frosting as they best and smoothest of the food lubes.

If that was the case, then she'd at least try it. Her husband, Gerold, had been complaining nonstop the last few weeks about their sex life not being "spicy" enough. Maybe this

new-fangled jalapeno condom would do the trick. Gerold was skeptical, but agreed to "give it a whirl."

The Jalapeno condom was lubed with Habanero oil. Gerold

spontaneously combusted in Jalapeno condom test #1, immediately upon rolldown. "Hmmm" said Derwood. "Let's put the habanero oil on the outside this time and try it out on Lucia."

Jalapeno condom test #2 ended with Lucia calling an ambulance. Derwood got in too as the habenero oil had baboonized his genitals. "One day we'll laugh about this," he assured Luci

A after the experiment ended. It took three days. Then they stopped laughing when Dr. Wikid prescribed the wrong medication. It was embarrassing, to say the least! Derwood died and

his widow sued Dr. Wikid. But the wily savant was prepared, & conducted a seance using the judge & jury. The deceased's voice swore he had really died of autoerotic asphyxiation.

But nobody could really understand him, what with all the choking sounds he was making. The judge and jury put away the Ouija board and took brandy in the drawing room, where the

subject of the subjectification of Scotland was brought out of its coffin again. Then about the new Pharma gal that was making the rounds. The problem with poltergeists is dicey.