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I was sitting in my office when I heard "Alalaaahhhhh"

  • I was sitting in my office when I heard "Alalaaahhhhh" from somewhere. I looked out the window only to see a airplane fling scaringly low. I ran down the stairs yelling to everyone

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  • get outside and take a look at this airplane that is flying low. Is it a plane, an automobile, or is it a crazy person?

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  • Ah. That low-flying object was Clark on the red Kryptonite again. How many times would I have to save his bacon? I was getting tired of this. I was going to take all his Red, and

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  • make some green. But I needed to find a way to generate some cash. Sell T-Shirts? Sell hot dogs? Sell myself on the street corner? No, the best idea would be to sell those little

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  • drink umbrellas to kids. They were like crack, just like the little swords you skewer cherries with that kids never got in their drinks. It was better & tastier than prostitution

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  • on a stick. Then Abe stood up and said, "Let's not forget clove cigarettes! How great was that, a nice, Christmas smelling tobacco product. The kids loved it." Then Bob put a candy

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  • cigar in a passing childs' mouth. The child spat it out and started crying. "See? The kids love it!" shouted Bob, beaming at everyone. There was an awkward silence. Then suddenly

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  • the child grew to ten times his normal size and grabbed Bob, shaking him about wildly in the air. Bob screamed for help, but

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  • only blood bubbled out of his mouth. The giant child lost grip on Bob and he collided head first with a wall. Something warm and wet was creeping down his neck--then he remembered

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  • the arsenic coated pacifier in his back pocket. The blood now filled his eyes as he groped for the deadly dummy. "Here kid . . .Suck on this!" he said as the giant reached out..

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