I bit down on the beernut & felt something

I bit down on the beernut & felt something crack.It wasn't the beernut. It was one of my molars. But most disturbing was when I examined my broken molar & found a tiny transmitter

radio playing Mariachi music. That would explain my uncontrolable desire for salsa at 3 am. I threw the tiny device in my stout. Who was behind it? The ADA? Taco Bell?

People said I was paranoid but the Mariachi music followed me where ever I went. In fact, I was being interviewed on NPR, the moment I set foot in the building the radio station

burst into flames while playing an avan garde version of La Cucaracha with punk rock touches here and there,but still,Mariachi music.It was everywhere!It was a monster!Life became

unbearable. I resorted to riding It's A Small World all day long just to get the Mariachi music out of my head. At night, I listened to Ice Ice Baby through headphones until

my soul began to whine. "Vanilla, oh the banality, make it stop," it/I said. It/I slowly died, and then I stepped on the scale. "Aha! 21 grams lighter, just like the legend says."

It/I wondered what would happen if It/I tried chocolate. It/I broke out in hives, that's what happened! "Chocolate, oh the itching! Make it stop!" It/I cried out again. I weighed

in on the trend, & pretended to be allergic to peanut butter. "Oh god," I screamed in monotone. "I am allergic to something which exists in nature." "Damn you, Darwin!" It/I cried

"You can't be allergic to peanut butter, you're already allergic to cats, dogs, pigs and rabid owls!" cried James Edward Almos who suddenly emerged from the chimney.

"It's a shame you can't have peanut butter, but then, who can?" Owl knew the answer to this but Olmos missed the point somehow. He'd be taking allergy shots this season for sure.