Janine opened the can of spam. She inhaled it's meaty aroma. Her eyes gleamed and she licked the gelatinous goo from the top. She set the can down on the table and stuck a finger in the middle if the spam, tactile pleasures running up &down her entire arm. Janine groaned. Spam. Few understand Spam as an aphrodisiac. Janine did...& she was about to show Bob. Janine did show Bob that Spam was an aphrodisiac but that paled in significance when it was revealed that both Bob and Janine, and you the reader, were used to convey information to the black market in Lithuania. There the Russians and the Armenians were bidding on the aphrodisiac spam in order to repopulate the falling werewolf population in Romania. "I heard of 2018," said Marlena. "Is that a number or something?" Marlena was clearly not long for this world, aphrodisiac spam be damned. A young Romanian chess player gave her so so much of the spam that she began to convulse. After five minutes of trying to decide if I should give her mouth to mouth, I realized that she was smiling. Her hand clutching my Johnson bar, she rammed it forward activating the emergency brakes and sending us off into a jackknife. I punched the bitch out of the way and took the wheel. The rear tank tire burst with a deafening pop and I was sent flying through the night air and into a cactus. She came through with only a bruise, but it took four hours to get all the needles out of my ass. The final cactus needle must have been stuck in just the right spot, because when I removed it the air in my body began hissing from the hole. I started to flatten, so I Sorta congealed down the drainpipe, where I quickly met Pennywise. "Alright Arachnaclown?" He exposed yellow teeth and snarled at me. "You're in need of a airpump, stat" he giggled

 

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