Numbers float above everyone's head. The

Numbers float above everyone's head. The numbers count down with every passing second. They announce the time of that person's death. Ahead of me, a little girl had only 5 minutes

left on her 5 hour energy drink. She slumped over and started yawning crazily. Meanwhile theses numbers that floated over everyone's head were counting down and freaking me out.

A cute blonde came up to me & pointing at the numbers asked, "its the Final Countdown, wanna fuck?" I discovered that yes I did, I did want to fuck. "Me too", she said & walked awa

y, quickly engaging in sexual congress with a bearded gentleman in the corner. This left me unfulfilled. Given that The Final Countdown was upon us, I decided to whip

out my secret weapon. I dialed Dr. Goodfeel. "I'm not capable of satisfaction any more." "Nonsense," He chuckled. All you need is a good sex fast. No less than 2 years. Then come s

-ee me in the morning." So two years and a day later I went to see Dr. Goodfeel. "I did what you said, Doc, but now I have the clap." Dr. Goodfeel applauded. "Twice!" he laughed.

I applauded his sense of puns. Dr. Goodfeel and Dr. Feelgood were identical twins. I was fooled by their leprochaunlike Irish blarney. They owned Blarneystone Books too. I bought a

stack of books on the subject and some souvenirs for family and friends. I told myself that sure, they would much rather have a t-shirt or hat than actually visit Ireland. That

was a crock of bull, but it made me feel better about my winning the lottery and deserting them all back at home. I was on my way to explore Ireland's castles and green landscapes

. I was on my way of finding my new home. I had always wanted to live in a castle and now was my chance. My once in a life time chance. I must have one in order to plot world domin