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Defenseless kittens lazed in the sun outside

  • Defenseless kittens lazed in the sun outside the second story window. They'd made their way up the precarious awning to the ledge in hopes that the mouse farm's air conditioner

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  • didn't have fan blades, but because they were animals they couldn't read the model numbers so the cat's went for it. They were blended up like melons in a jet engine, bloody fur

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  • coated the room. As I wiped the blood from my eyes I couldn't help thinking some proverb about poo hitting fans. That's when I heard it--a single meow from a cat whose body was

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  • covered in cat fur matted with filth. I tried hard to shut out my thoughts which immediately connected the filthy pussy with memories of

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  • a childhood spent sleeping in a dumpster. By befriending the cats I kept the rats at bay - well, all except the rat named Rocky who ate cats for lunch. Rocky and I became fast

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  • food once the questionable foreign restaurant moved into the empty building. How darkly poetic! Two unlikely friends sharing the same tragic death, served w/ gravy toa mustachioed

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  • pig. Of all the creatures to finally have his way with what man had done, this would be the greatest defeat. Just as the timer sounded for the Baked Alaska to be taken out of the

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  • blasting furnace, the door blew off. Someone had replaced the meringue with white blasting power! The force of the explosion instantly cooked everything. The pig

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  • skin was instantly caramelized sealing all the succulent pork flavor within. The explosive and quick preparation made this banquet dish an immediate hit.

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  • They were all sad to see him go, and respectfully put Porky's sailor hat in a place of honor. But, as Harlen Ellison wrote, "He was delicious."

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