Lucie decided she needed to go cold turkey from FS. Being literal minded, she booked a 2 week holiday in Turkey. She got her eyebrows threaded & set off without an electronic devic e, which meant she even replaced her glittering new Hitachi Oculo 5000 with a golf ball and took her granny's manually operated Turkey baster. She was served endless cups of tea by a Dutch waitress who didn't like golf balls at all. So she, being a kleptomaniac from the Netherlands, "acquired" the golf ball and threw it into a Dutch incinerator. It was hot August nights in San Ramon which explained all the fat, dumpy, dopey, bald guys with muscle cars. The Dutch waitress was now working a Burger joint there when she met the most somebody that was both past and now in both senses. How does somebody most somebody? To be honest, it is really not that hard. Not that hard at all. You'd be surprised. You would. But not nearly as surprised to hear that lo and behold, you messaged me while I'm busy on FS again! Do I bother you when you're on FA? No, 'cause I learned my lesson after 47 tries and a court order asking me to abstain, which was a stain on my record, and caused me to to drop mu hot dog, causing a stain on my shorts, which was all I was wearing that fateful night. It was a ritual of mine, one I had obtained in my youth, when I watched National Geographic movies, topless, and dreamed about introducing Oscar Meyer to the Ubangi Warrior. I felt her ice-cold toes dig into my back just then. DAMMIT!! I closed my eyes again, hoping, but...DAMMIT!! My adventure had disappeared. Woodenly, I rose from the bed disgusted "Why are you so cold!" I screamed my fantasy wanted HER to be hot, ice-cold temperatures to me are the epitomic turn-off, after all those months of dating and it ends like this.

 

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