There ain't nuthin' sexier than a girl that knows how ta shoot, 'xcept mebee one that ken spit tobacco at ten paces, en she shuld clean sum crawdids, en fix a transmissin'. Ol' Possum set back from his laptop and smiled. The offers will soon come pouring in. "I give 'yuns 10 fur that one!" someone wrote. Ol' Possum rubbed his hands together. "The gettins gettin' good!" he thought. She was worth more than 10 dollars, though. "How 'bout $25.00?" a half blind 91 year old woman offered. Ol' Possum was please his pelt price had jumped, less pleased the old woman thought he was an ugly puppy. But Ol' Possum dreamed of having a place in history and becoming part of senile Cruella's coat was about the only option left to him at this point. "Sold!" he said, and unzipped a monster turgid stoat that he laid on the table as payment. Nobody moved. Cruella was the first to recover. She said "Ol' Possum! Get that stoat for me now! I must have that stoat!" Ol' Possum, as Cruella had long since cruelly called him, didn't dare argue. He lurched forward, reaching for the turgid stoat. The languid stoat sat there unmoved. Ol' Possum thought for sure the stoat would exhibit at least an iota of discernible fear but no. Possum was flabbergasted. Cruella became impat Ient and found the languid stoat was up to her tricks. He had put some arsenic in her spaghetti. Of course she,couldn't taste or see it, but that evening the stoat avoided eating discarded lottery tickets like she usually did. Everybody noted it but nobody said anything remembering what happened the last time, with Christ. They only offered, "Be stout".

 

Comments

1 Woab's photo

“Give me some stoats who are stout-hearted stoats…”

2 jayursus's photo

“...who are languid and turgid all day,
who don’t mind a groat becoming a coat,
and fix transmissions with crawdads.  Hooray!”

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