Research has found that the percentage of FoldingStory users with 3 figure IQs is equal to the percentage of bananas that are straight. From this we can conclude that the number of gay or bisexual bananas is much larger than originally thought, and, in addition, the correlation between sexuality and FoldingStory IQ is a function of fruitiness. "It matters not," muttered Dr. Kinsey. "Regardless of their orientation, bananas remain nature's ultimate phallic symbol, violating all of its eaters and finance advisors. If you thought you were screwed last time you had a finance advisor because he was an ex-used car salesman then think about the bananas. They have the worst of smells in the fruit basket. And do you really wanna be stuck in that fruit basket? I don't think you do, the speaker shouted. I had to get out of this class. I interrupted by raising two fingers to indicate a phony need for a restroom. The speaker looked put-out and waved me off, and I almost got out the door before I was pelted with over-ripe fruit. I paused before turning around trying to work out if this was going to put me back in prison? When I looked back I saw her running out the other door. She had dropped the spoiled container of macaroni salad on Salazar’s infected bedsores; Salazar, roused from a fevered sleep, hurled expletives at her, snatched a shotgun from under the mattress and shot. & missed, as usual. "Poor thing," she murmured, sprinkling him with hot sauce for that extra zing. After Salazar finally fell into silent delirium, she let the dogs in to lick his stamps. The invitations were sent out & dog connoisseurs from the neighborhood arrived & fastened napkins to their necks. They all attributed Salazar's deliciousness to the sauce.

 

Comments

1 Woab's photo

This is hilarious.

2 StoryFascist's photo

I’m stunned by Perronicus’ statement. We’re well into the four digit IQ zone. It’s good to be alive.

3 49erFaithful's photo

Brilliant! Three and a half cheers!

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