She said I was a nogoodcheatingsonofabitch

She said I was a nogoodcheatingsonofabitch bastard & I could go straighttohell.I laughed & said I thought she would have been more original than that. She hit me with a frying pan.

It bounced off my kevlar head and off my rubber feet. I was impenatrable. She threw her hands up to claw my burning eyes. My steel jaw neatly snapped off her fingers. She hurled

insults like a bankrupt comedian. Ah, that girl, gotta love her. I'd smile at her but my steel jaw prevents it. No facial emotions. Nothing. I could only open my mouth slit and

eject worthless plastic tokens, once good for a free wash at a now failed laundromat. Never date a witch in the Thelemic tradition; their spells are especially vicious. Alas, my

Date took me to the plastoterrium, where the flesh eating tigers laid in wait. The master had a trasidic snake at the door and greeted everyone in Gibberish. A translator was at

tacked for being extremely accurate. The other translators didn't like that. That was the tiger's first meal in a month. The master only saw what he wanted to see & he still needed

another $4.73 if he was to supersize that meal. So the master went hungry, and the tiger lost interest in eating him, since he was so skinny. When the master finally starved to

certain death, the emaciated Tiger asked, “Why didn’t you pay the extra $4.73 and eat?” The master pulled a gun and shot him, declaring, “I have my money and I am no longer hungry.

I'm going to put a Tiger in my tank. Hope I'm not allergic". The master turned around and started up the barbecue.

When the grilling was done, he feasted on his sausage and saluted as the tiger turned his tank resolutely toward the enemy line. Never had there been a braver cat in the world.