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I had been locked in the trunk for about

  • I had been locked in the trunk for about an hour when I heard noises outside. I had no idea where I was. Finally the

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  • owner of Papa Johns opened the trunk of his '71 Camaro. But it was too late, I had already

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  • spilled the anti-freeze all over it. The smell was as putrid as

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  • the local felines curious about the sweet, syrupy aroma now emanating from the bloated raccoon. The Toxic Avengers then

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  • sprayed the cats with the remainer of the maple syrup, which caused the dogs to

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  • howl uncontrollably, because they were all fiercely allergic to maple syrup. The birds, however,

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  • loved syrup. After indulging however, their beaks were stuck shut... the began going crazy, busting out the window and

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  • swan diving nearly to the ground before pivoting upward again in a motion that reminded me of the roller coaster at the

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  • Six Flags. But this was no roller coaster and when that bird dive-bombed everyone

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  • it just had to smack ME in the face. I think it's foot went in my nostril. You know–talk about rude.

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