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If the Enterprise had been the Titanic would

  • If the Enterprise had been the Titanic would we find ourselves with the 6 foot tall duck like we do now? Get him out of that contraption & then fetch Mr. Spock & Ensign Earl Grey.

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  • The duck freed itself from his ship, the "contraption". He walked to him and gave him a crisp salute which it held until he returned it. That duck wing came up fast and had thrown

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  • a long spear like reed at a coming man, a shotgun aiming at the man

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  • a thunderous clap through the air, and in a single moment, the bullet pierced the skin.

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  • And then he fell to the ground, remembering nothing. When he woke up in the hospital 3 years later, the bullet had been safely removed from his skull long ago. He had no memory of

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  • the incident, but he had a strong craving for halvah. The hospital gave him an enormous bill and let him go. He recognized nothing of his town, and could not find a decent deli

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  • ...so, he tore up the enormous hospital bill, tossed it into the toilet, pissed on it, took a dump on it, and flushed it into the sewer system. Then he googled HALVA, and got

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  • an error message. ERROR 7078: unknown. Great. Thought google knew everything. So, instead of web searching, he decided to go to the local library in search of

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  • a journal that might hold the answer, and to flirt quietly somewhere between crime and erotica with the attractive librarian who he'd always rather fancied. She smiled as he

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  • brought his books to the circulation desk for "check out". "The books are due back by 8 p.m.tomorrow night. You can drop them off at my place" she whispered. His book worm stirred.

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