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One day there was a rapper named Drake. He

  • One day there was a rapper named Drake. He knew that Nello was his biggest fan, so he flew to California from Toronto, just to meet his biggest fan. He knocked on her door...

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  • and there stood a 300 pound lady wearing nothing but pink fluffy slippers and a pair of washing up gloves. Drake was...

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  • thinking I'm sure that's not what I ordered; it certainly doesn't look like the picture

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  • on the menu. It looks like they staged a fake photo shoot for the menu items. "Fornicators!" I screamed in disgust. This is not what

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  • I'd come to expect from Denny's. When did they start serving pancakes on naked Japanese women. Was this a part of their new international menu? When my pirogi arrive on a hairy

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  • armpit, I knew we had crossed into a new culture altogether. I ate, shamelessly, although privately I was deeply concerned that I might contract some disease. My friend suggested

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  • a more simple diet; vegetables, water. But nothing was sufficient. The more I ate, the more I craved. The more I craved, the less satisfying any attempts at sating my hunger. Once,

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  • I ate a raw rutabaga. I heaved four times but I got the thing down. I was so hungry, it felt like howling winds in my ribs. Ribs. RIBS! I drove over to Big Belly's BBQ and ordered

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  • everyone to leave - I had a rat in my hand, so everyone listened and ran out. I set the rat free and proceeded to raid the Big Belly kitchen. I was so hungry that I devoured

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  • everything in sight, oblivious to the the swelling of my lymph glands. But when tmy skin started to decompose, I took notice. Bubonic plague. How unfortunate. And we without a

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