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If Jim had one thing going for him, it wasn't

  • If Jim had one thing going for him, it wasn't good looks, good luck, a lightning fast intellect, nor a sexy cop wife. Each of things was had by Doug, who'd married his own sister

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  • but in rural Indiana at that time it was acceptable to have an Uncle Dad and Aunt Mom. Still, it was awkward when the twins' fourth grade teacher assigned a family tree project and

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  • and the tree turned out to be a straight-assed stick. No beginning and no end. Damn. Does this mean I can't keep doing naked push-ups on my sister? He would need

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  • to exercise naked upon some other relative - maybe Uncle Jesse. And no, my Uncle Jesse did not have a penchant for moonshine - much more refined - he liked ripple with Red Bull on

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  • ice while he watched reruns of "The Dukes of Hazard." Uncle Jesse thought it was hilarious that he shared his name with a main character from the show. "Them Dukes, them Dukes!"

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  • Uncle Enos, on the other hand was insulted by his Dukes of Hazard namesake. "Why has there never ever been a positive TV role model named Enos?" He pounded his fist on the set and

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  • the TV began to crack and pop. "We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special message. We take you live to the president of the United States." The pres appeared, looking

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  • exhausted, worried. Cameras flashing, reporters waving trying to get his attention. Mr. President, Mr. President, what stand will the United States take regarding Cuba's

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  • dominance of the planet, will you now be offering a grovelling apology for your treatment of cuba and its peoples over the years that you have relentlessly targetted it leaders and

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  • those of vulnerable developing nations. Now that world government is a reality, one person one vote across the world, let's see how many votes you get.

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