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He was one of those Hodpodge stiffs that

  • He was one of those Hodpodge stiffs that says, "Nice!" after everything someone says. He also still wore those dorky shirts that have THC in place of KFC logos,

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  • or "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm Schizophrenic and so am I". T-Shirts let him make an important statement without speaking. You could tell he was smart by his hip glasses

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  • which belied the point that he did not have eyes on his hips. GENIUS!

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  • But the eyes he did have showed him one thing, that his

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  • days of leisure were actually causing his brain to atrophy. He'd tried to dismiss the way he slurred his words and occasionally missed a step, but his eyes never lied. He wondered

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  • if he had a tumour. After much thought and self-loathing, he decided that yes, he did, and that the only way forward was to name the damed thing. George was born.

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  • But he didn't like George, so he had George removed.

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  • , which paved the way for him to remove Amanda, Riley, Hannah, and Gordon. Removing him was easy, because Gordon is a moron.

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  • But he burned just as bright on my bonfire of screaming elves. I love the smell of nisse in the morning.

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  • I turned away from the screams, a content smile on my face. Job well done, I thought.

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