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On Christmas morning Johnny rushed down

  • On Christmas morning Johnny rushed down the stairs, excited to see what Santa had left under the Christmas tree. Only what he saw under the tree,ruined all of his excitement!

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  • Under the tree he found a note: ''I'm sorry Johhny we couldn't afford to get you anything this year,'' But we love you.

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  • Johhny didn't care. He didn't need presents. He walked over to the road and stuck his thumb out. A little while later a flash car pulled up, the window wound down & sitting there w

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  • as a small dog, sitting on a large book, its paws resting gingerly on the steering wheel. 'Get in, stranger,' she growled. 'I can take you to see the Dog Master, but no further tha

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  • n that, because that is where the cat's territory is." The stranger hestitated but eventually took a seat next to the driving canine. They drove off but were suddenly

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  • Confronted by a suspect Cetan asking questions about secret government cheeses. He could neither confirm or deny the presence or absence of and government cheese or cheeses, inclu

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  • ding the super smelly sock kind. Cetan could ask about the cheeses until he was blue in the face (Blue Cheese?) but he'd never break me. I was trained at the Academie de la Fromage

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  • Dansant, where I learned convoluted modern jazz routines alongside some of the finest cheeses in Paris. I didn't realise how much I'd learned about those cheese's cultures until I

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  • found myself ordering a bottle of lactose in a French cafe, much to my date's surprise. "Watch me convert this into lactic acid," I told her as she rapidly disappeared. The cheese

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  • however, ended up besting me. Hours later I found myself trapped on a porcelain throne as the cheese blasted out of my asshole. I never ate cheese again.

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