Chocolate covered pretzels dipped in caramel coated mint ice ream wasn't enough to drown my disappointment at having been fired by the worlds worst company. Just because I was able to snatch these pretzels before clearing out my desk didn't make leaving any sweeter..well maybe a little. "Why did you steal the pretzels Peter?" That fateful question would echo through the chambers of my mind for years. & I'd never divulge the answer. I wouldn't. I couldn't. One night, though, I ate some pretzels & drank 'some' beer and ran off at the mouth (apparently) and so the echo chamber of my mind reverberated through my vocal cords and the secret earth shattering question was uttered: How does one go about shattering the earth in secret? It was, of course, rhetorical. And so Henry delivered it. And what an Earth-shattering secret it was. "Pickled olives, when blended in a blender with a sprinkling of turbinado sugar smell exactly like Henrietta's underpants!" "And how do you know what that smells like?" asked Mrs. Prudential. "It was an educated guess," replied Henry, realizing he didn’t have a clue about how anyone’s underpants smelled, except for his own, which he sniffed regularly. Henrietta’s underpants, Henry surmised, must smell sugary, since she she ate nothing but powdered donuts. But he'd better make sure. "Henrietta, do your underpants smell sweet?" She was outraged. "What?! you sick bastard!" Henry said, "Just let me sniff the scent of your underpants." Henry begged. So Henrietta kicked him in the face and ran off cackling about the stock market crash.



You must be logged in to comment

You can Log in now or Sign up for a new account