he turned to his friend and said "I feel

he turned to his friend and said "I feel like I'm the left pussy lip and your the right one, we used to be tight until a dick got between us!"

His friend nodded. "Yeah, it's like we're a couple of loose bolts. Someone came along, screwed with us, and now we ain't tight no mo'." They nodded then shook hands. "Never again

!" and they high-fived. A lump in my throat bubbled up. Those carnies were talking about the bolts on the ride I was currently in. I had just gotten my phobic girlfriend to agree

to ride with me on the SUICIDE TRAIN on Southwold Pier. Upsidedown, the car spiralled off the track & into the icy North Sea. My girlfriend sacked me before she'd even hit the wate

R. I drowned then and there. No obituary was ever published. Amazing how nobody paid attention. People have short attention spans now!

Now, where was I? Oh yes, I was dead. Now I had all the time in the world to ponder what had gone wrong. All I could remember was Diedre's face as the traffic light had changed.

Diedre's eyes widened in delight: "Why, it's red, my fave color! Do drive closer to it!" Ignoring the oncoming train, I obeyed. Now, sprawled in my coffin, I recalled those last mo

uth watering kisses. She must have put some aphrodisiac in her lip gloss. I slipped through the crack in the world and by passed hell. My soul found Norad and there she was, a spy!

I slipped between the moments to come up beneath her. She was not watching her nadir, so she didn't see me until I was visible but by then it was too late. I squared her circumfere

nce, before rounding her to a nice round number if ya catch my drift. Unfortunately, she also caught my drift and was carried away into the distance by it, raised up into the sun.