Try to look on the bright side. For example,

Try to look on the bright side. For example, whenever I get an infection, I don't get upset. I just look at it as another opportunity to fill my jar of pus.

Being a collector it is hard to get a balance between collecting and hoarding. I had heard it was best just to get rid of something each time I brought something new home but

when you collect filled trash bags this is counterproductive. The stench alienated my friends, as did my predictable conversational turns to trash bagging. "Do you prefer TwistTies

or Zipties?" They just stared at me. My wife with her (8th) glass of sherry. Her friends, mouths open. Mock disgust. Her friend Leanne said, "Right, well, back to something interes

ting." Leanne turned and stared at me. Apparently she thought I was interesting. My wife was too zonked to notice, so I engaged in a little harmless flirting. "Sooo, Leanne, what's

it like to be in the presence of someone so devastatingly charming?" Leanne didn't say a word. She calmly took off her panties and stuck them in my 7 & 7. My wife glanced up at Lea

nne as she took off her shirt and stuffed it in the pork stew. Her skirt went into the trifle and Leanne dunked her bra in the assorted dips. Her anorak went into the chocolate

"So, what do you think of my body? Really?" She tossed her hair and puckered her lips. I was speechless. She had lost so much weight, and she was always gorgeous in my eyes". "I

uh, well, um," which were the honest words in my head. Other words that flitted across my stumbling tongue: ravishing, astounding, take me now. Still stammering at her new look, I

I tripped over my shoelaces. The sexy zombie devi grabbed my arm and took a big bite. She was a woman after my own heart, literally. We married a week later and three kids.