i went fishing with my dad when i saw a big fish swimming past us, we quickly change our hook to a bigger size, hook a bait and start fishing . eventually we managed to catch the big fish . we then continued catching to try our luck . Our luck consisted of 2 expensive lures. We saved up, believing in not only luck, but in the knowledge that fortune was ours. That lure held magic, we believed... well we believed the Fairy Trout. It was a holy fish that floated around and whipped people across cheek with a fishing pole granting them pescatory powers of fishing. And so we had always assumed that he was related to Kilgore Trout, who did pretty much the same thing to the readers of Grabbed Kitty Magazine. Some claimed he wrote science fiction but some like me sit in their car and piss in a jar. I work for worker's comp. I'm a private dickhead. Stan Shitface is the name. Dames are like my broken down Yugo; they won't speak to me. It all started back in the war. I was Major Shitface then, but now I am just Stan. My dreams have been scattered like rose petals at the fancy wedding I didn't quite attend. I left the honeymoon suite to score some vitamin v; the bride lubed up for the marriage consummation. The MPs surrounded me, “Major Shitface?” “Not anymore,” I smiled, “The name is Stan!” The MPs understood. He was playing his expected role as the husband in this marriage consummation. That required him to adopt a more intimate demeanor with his new wife. As Stan, he played a dolt (a la Stan Laurel). As Ollie (a la Oliver Hardy), he was a bossy know-it-all. “Well, here’s another nice MESS you’ve gotten me into!” The MPs looked on, perplexed.

 

Comments

1 Ped_Xing's photo

Why were Members of Parliament in Major Stan Shitface’s honeymoon suite? To witness the consummation?

2 Zetawilk's photo

Yes. Yes they are.

3 Jimbeau's photo

The magic in the fold is “ANYTHING” goes!

5 Ped_Xing's photo

sorry, I hadn’t noticed it cut if off.

6 Zetawilk's photo

I wish her snakes would chime in to do the voices for the dialogue.

I’m not generally a fan of using expletives, but I feel like my introduction of Stan Shitface was in the groove, and I expect he could show up again. Sorry for the pride.

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