Canada, where a good warm winter parka is 1000$ , and what was once affordable for the middle class is now financial suicide for most: i.e. owning a house, hard wood furniture, qua lity 12 piece china dining sets and swimming pools. Most Canadians are now having to survive on only having the basics such as a small hot tub, enamel dinnerware, MDF furniture and small substandard moose skin rugs with the antlers missing. O how my heart goes out to those unhappy Canadians! If I could wrap all the Canadians in the world into a big bosomy hug I would, but being a moose still in possession of skin & antlers & having no bossom to speak of, I leave that task to others. I decided to stand in the road to edify the Canadian drivers. "Steer clear of the deer here. Our numbers are dwindling." I'm not sure whether they understood me, but when the Canadians saw a talking moose they veered off the road. "Shit, the moose are working with the deer, one of the Canadians bellowed as he stumbled out of the car. "Shit, Shit," we made a mad dash across the snowfields, not stopping to enjoy a six-pack of Molson's that the moose and deer had left in the snow for us as a trap. We decided to climb some tall pines to escape them. We heard their hoofbeats and could n't decide what was worse: being trampled to death or pass up the opportunity to blare "I am Canadian". True to our heritage, we abandoned the Molsons & ran for the nearest tree house Tim Hortons. We ordered poutine & American sweet iced tea. McKensie mainlined some maple syrup & went on a mental walkaboot while I bided my time watching some stripper stick paint remover instructional videos. It was a painfully slow process. By the time we finished watching, the poutine was long gone and it was time for breakfast. What a day!

 

Comments

1 SlimWhitman's photo

Canada from start to finish.

2 IceSquad's photo

Molson’s next slogan, Slim.

3 lucielucie's photo

My offer still stands, Canadians.

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