What is honestly the point of living? If I die will the world stop spinning, will the plants stop producing oxygen? No, so what's the point? Oh yeah, My fish will die. I have to stay alive for Fishy. That is the purpose of all human life, to take care of fish and whales like Shamu. Pollution has caused the oceans to become like a trashy minestrone. Plastic bags and bottle caps give Shamu, Flipper and Willy a bad tummy ache. So I'm sailing to the Eastern Garbage Patch with my armada of TLC Hosts do a whole bunch of different reality shows about the trash continent out in the ocean. And that is what I expected when I sat down with my Sulphur Springs Nettles & Armadillo TV Dinner in front of my TV to watch TRASH CONTINENT: THE STORY FROM THE INSIDE, but that got pre-empted with a rerun of Leave it to Beaver where Beaver Cleaver got in trouble for drawing a Swastika on teacher's bong. I actually hadn't seen the full ep outside clip show but when Hugh Beaumont entered from his den, pipe in hand, red-eyed pupils so dilated that he looked like a demon teddy bear, I nearly browned myself. "Beaver," he said, "Your teac her called me at work today. She told me you were being a twerp, Beaver. Now, I can see that out of your friend Eddie Haskell. He'll probably become a cop." Ward paused. Beaver was bowing his head in shame as Ward admonished him. Wally peeked around the doorway behind Ward’s back, making faces. “Dad,” Beaver began, then Ward pulled his arm back and slapped Wally across his dumb young chops. Wally said, "Dad, you'll be lucky if I don't kill you." Ward knifed his son in the ribs. "You won't." June said, "Look at the mess you've made."

 

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