After the couch lifted off the ground 6"

After the couch lifted off the ground 6" and the china flew off the shelves and shattered, Megan read the label closely. There it was in tiny print: "May cause telekinesis."

"Hmmmm..." hmmmed Megan, "Wonder if this stuff would help with Biff's erectile dysfunction?" Megan rubbed the telekinectic upholsterey cleaner on Biff's ED when he wasn't looking

and Biff's ED withered away like a wet witch. Biff, gulped. "Megan?" Now that his ED was gone, Biff felt, lost, vulnerable, weak. He tried to change the subject awkwardly, "Look at

me now my ED has gone!" Megan blushed violently. Biff hadn't changed the subject enough & they were only on the soup course. Dinner stretched ahead of them like a film full of ED

And they were so hungry they ate it. They must have been drunk with joy after the Cubs winning the World Series for the first time since 1908.

The Cubs fans were so happy that they started eating everything. Pretty soon they had devoured Chicago entirely. Then they all went to Canada to get free health care, because they

felt kinda sick after all that eating. The concrete, metal, and other Chicago-bits had not done them much good. But when they arrived in Canada

They unloaded. They really let go. They had perfect aim. None of it ended up on the US side. All of it was Canada. They collected their money & were flown back by the Trump Regime.

There they were greeted as heroes but forced to ride atop a float that looked like a giant urinal in a ticker tape parade. One of them teetered dangerously on the edge before

falling onto that stinky little green cake that sits in the urinal over the four round drain holes. On impact with the urinal-cake he shuddered, curled up and disintegrated