We were charged with coming up with new cereal concepts revolving around celebrities. Some, like Al Frankenberries, never made it past the concept stage, but others, such as Honey Smack Jack Black were very popular. It was only when Madonna Pops, Bieber Bran and Dr Dre Flakes started flying off the shelves that I knew we had entered the golden age. There was Lil' Wayne Wheaties. The was Flavor Flave Frosted Miniwheats, there was Lil' Kim Kashi & we'd be remiss not to mention Puffed Daddy Rice. Always an outlier, however, Eminem disgraced Post's Alpha-Bits by recognizing only two letters. Ah-h, yes, the golden honey age of the Cereal Kingdom," said King Vitaman said with a sad smile. "I remember those sugar-filled days fondly." In those days, King Vitaman ruled over Trix, BooBerry & C3 Po's. If Captain Crunch could only hurry up! He was supposed to shed high fructose corn syrup in favour of real sugar, first time in decades. His Crunchmobile broke down on the way there. Someone had put sugar in the tank! Cap'n Crunch was sure it was Frankenberry, that pink-faced freak. The good Cap'n had had just about enough of his pranks. "I'll fix his little deuce coupe. He don't know what he got. Cap'n Crunch put 409 in Frankenberry's gas tank. When he tried to turn it on at the start of the race it exploded & Count Chocula's body was thrown out his car, but he turned into a chocolate-cereal bat and terrorized the fans. His vile deed done, Cap’n Crunch zoomed from the start line leaving Frankenberry in the dust. Frankenberry moped about. "I'm such a loser, a cross between Frankenstein's monster and berries! Out of all the sentient entities in the universe I could have been, why am I me?"



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