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"Chah dude." said the surfer. His body glistened

  • "Chah dude." said the surfer. His body glistened with sea water and he had that stupid look on his face. "That chick looks hot bruh." said the surfer to his friend. "Totally dude."

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  • "Her body is like, totally gnarly. Like, in a good way." The surfer dude said. His friend, suddenly tired of the surf life, backhanded him across his sunkissed face.

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  • Freshly slapped the Surfer Dude said, "Wooooah." His irritated friend said, "You want me to slap your face again?" Surfer Dude said, "That wasn't my face broh-heem, that was

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  • your mom and she looks angry. Better run, Dude! " The irritated friend turned to look. The annoying Surfer Dude was right.

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  • My mother was barreling towards us, sledgehammer in hand. I shouldn't have forgotten to call her on Mother's day. The surfer dude and irritated friend ran out of the way, and I

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  • threw on my cloak of invisibility and held my breath as my enraged mother huffed past me, still swinging the sledgehammer and muttering something about flowers and chocolates.

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  • I stepped back in order to dodge the sledgehammer as it whizzed past my head. A board creaked as my weight shifted. I had never been so scared in my life. What if she found me?

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  • And find me she did. My cloak flew away in a strong gust of wind caused by the ocean wind. She turned around, looked me in the eye, and said to me "SON, WHAT KIND OF PERSON

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  • PUTS THEIR MOTHER THROUGH ALL OF THAT?" Then she took a better look at me. "Why are you naked? Aren't you cold? Where is that girl? Ircoosha. Yes, Ircoosha. "Ircoosha fetch the hot

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  • tamales and Vaseline!” But Ircoosha, also nude, didn’t move. “Mom!” I hollered, “Ircoosha and I are Freedomites. We protest in the nude.” Mom, in her loving way, smiled and fainted

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