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"I was always good at starting fires!" Bobby

  • "I was always good at starting fires!" Bobby said proudly, backing away from his latest endeavor.

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  • "I was always good at putting out fires! So damn you, Bobby!" Billy shout back at Bobby, and they start trading punch.

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  • Unfortunately, Billy's punch was spiked, and so he began telling Bobby how much of a good friend he was and how much he loved him. Bobby looked on in horror as

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  • flames violently erupted from Billy's crotch; Billy was too drunk to notice. Bobby wondered whether he should intervene, or let the fire take his friend in the name of Christ.

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  • "This is fucking crazy," Bobby thought as he grabbed the pot of ramen noodles and dumped it on Billy's crotch. Spontaneous human combustion is something he'd read about but he

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  • never thought that it would happen simply from noodles to the crotch. And he was right. The noodles slid gracelessly down his leg. Looking mildly annoyed he said

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  • "I told you to take the waist in! How else do you expect me to carry my noodles without pockets?" The tailor apologised profusely as he began taking his measurements with a

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  • knife, that was when I realized this tailor was no peasant, he could probably be a

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  • King in his homeland. After I realized that I've been so rude to him said "I'm so sorry sir but your nose, your nose! It's so big and red I just want to cut it off with a

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  • knife". The King could not appreciate this honesty and killed me right on the spot. Which brings up the question as to how I am writing this story. I am not, you are. DUN DUN DUN!

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