The craft drifted without ripple through

The craft drifted without ripple through the sea. The outer hull maintained a frequency of vibration that made it frictionless, which prevented ripples. Its payload ravaged Captain

Ahab, for the hold was filled with hornets, and his girl had kicked their nest. Now they flew as one, intent on filling the grizzled sailor with their venom. Thinking quickly, he

dove off starboard into the ocean. He hooked his arm on the drag line and was pulled alongside the ship. He signaled and the men turned canons inward and lit them. The poured black

molasses only slowed the creature's tentacles enough for us to get coated in the stuff. The fire marched slowly down the fuse. The captain, still taking a bath, yelled

'Hey, it's getting awfully hot in here,' get me some cold water for this bath. And to his surprise in sidled the person he least expected to see - his

dead grandfather who cooled things down considerably. Ever since grandpa had died, he wished that he'd talked to him about the important things and now gramps was in the bath.

In fact, proper bathing and hygiene was one of the impotant things he would've liked to talk about. His grandfather had always been so wise about such things as how often to shower

and what to soap. Gramps was wise in the ways of water, suds, and herbal unguents and he often reflected on how sad it was that such wisdom had been lost when

people quit to make homemade SOAP (Sudsy Oily Auwful-tasting Pucks) out of whatever they had available. Like Gobs of animal fat, Piles of wood ashes and a lawn full of weeds-herbs

were added to used kitty litter and rainwater to make the best cosmetic mud masks in the tri-state area.