Thanks to the landmark case of "US Government vs. Dr. Finkle", proctologists were now required to use stirrups and a speculum to give their exams. No longer would women be the only ones to bear such an immodest position--well, that's not strictly the case. Dr. Finkle, proctologist, was exiled from the US to Mexico, where he met a group of native Eskimos. He offended the Eskimos when he tried to ask directions to the nearest restroom. But they were sly Eskimos. They led Dr. Finkel down a really steep staircase into the bottom Dr. Funnel and Dr.Finkel were meteorologists by trade and collaborated on long term forecasts for the Eskimos. Their daring escape was kept top secret. This was to their advantage. Since their daring escape went unnoticed by there captors they were not searched for (hence the advantage). Dr. Funnel & Dr. Finkels renegade longrange forecasts helped the Eskimos break free of Pangaia and cross the Bering Sea to Amerika. Where they worked their way south and eventually reached Chili. We, of course, didn't know those names or what we'd find. But we did have some mighty fine chili, topped with chives, sour cream and cheese on the way there. That night, however, we were visited by intestinal demons, the likes of which had only been seen, in these parts, once before: ya gotta go all the way back to 1967, I was fourteen, and I decided to stop at the local greasy spoon and order a chili dog smother ed in onions & mustard. Ah, life was so simple then (sigh) But I digress. I must get back to the real reason I came here today. I assembled my Acme flamethrower & (sigh) took aim. Roasted baby kaiju had been my specialty for years. Once started I had to finish, this one last time. Pepper spray, honey and sesame mist, and roasting together. This is correct.

 

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