64

I'm allergic to walnuts, wheat gluten, cats,

  • I'm allergic to walnuts, wheat gluten, cats, poinsettias, postage stamp adhesive, every ingredient in beer except water, Depend® undergarments, dust mite turds, wookie fur,

    7
  • the soft carress of a mother's touch, puppies, pulp novel grit, mollusks, and chai tea. I need shots bi-weekly so my skin doesn't burst into

    8
  • a garish display of allergic reactions. My allergist prescribed a round of meds to protect me from animal dander, shellfish, and certain spices. "What about my in-laws?" I asked.

    8
  • "There is no cure for in-law allergy," the allergist said, scribbling a prescription, "but this brand of scotch, if imbibed regularly during the in-law visitation will dull symptom

    8
  • s dramatically.I included 5 refills, just in case." I grabbed the prescription gratefully, scuttled out the door & over to the pharmacy. "I need this asap. My in-law allergies are

    7
  • ..." He held up his hand in understanding. "We all scuttle along the bottom of life's ocean, lonely and combative." Nothing had prepared me for Morgan Freeman as SpongeBob, PharmD.

    5
  • I decided to become a disciple of Morgan "Spongebob" Freeman, and followed him from pharmacy to pharmacy just to hear the wisdom he would dispense. Others soon joined us as we made

    7
  • our way through a shabby chic street full of new money. We moved fast, not wanting our sensibilities to be tainted by their pretentious ways. Our wise leader Morgan, ever the poet,

    8
  • Invented fake found poetry all over again. His fans applauded the hyphen by setting their belly button lint on fire over a blood chalice, inscribed with the palace and surrounded b

    3
  • Y a thousand minions who rearranged the letters so they were in gibberish. This meant he had found a new alternative to Esperanto, which no one spoke any more.

    3

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!