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"Why haven't you started potty training them

  • "Why haven't you started potty training them yet?" asked the grandmother, seeming confused and almost a little angry. "Well, they just don't seem ready yet." replied the man.

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  • His mother-in-law looked at the man for a moment. "You're right. You are so right. Let college teach them what they should've learned 17 years ago. They can't go in diapers." Then

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  • she turned from him in a huff, annoyed with him that he would say something so obvious and angry with herself for missing it.

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  • She pointed to her tin foil hat. "So you noticed my headwear. Well done." She was livid, as were the aliens tuned in to her hat's frequency. "You know what this means?"

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  • They turned to her and replied: "No idea, but if it involves any probing then I'm out." She visibly swelled up, prodded her finger into their chest and screamed "gay space-orks!"

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  • It was a compelling argument. "Alright, some probing," they relented, "but just because I respect your authority as a nurse." "Thank you," said the nurse while beginning to probe

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  • their minds with her thoughts. "Ouch! Ow!" they protested. "Stop whining," said the nurse, "or you won't get lollipops afterward. They pouted, but remained silent as she probed

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  • their poop meticulously in search of treasure. To her disappointment, none of the patients had swallowed a gold doubloon that day. Nurse considered human-trafficking them, if only

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  • it wasn't illegal and immoral. Besides, Nurse reasoned, tomorrow might bring about "change". She giggled at her little joke & prepared the evening prune juice cocktails.

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