He used to get a Christmas card every year from the jolly old elf, but now their relationship was strained. "He never writes." muttered Krampus. They were young once, two boys romping in the snow, till that fateful day when the reindeer spoke and the magic was revealed to be truth. But not the truth Krampus expected. Not in the way he had hoped. The reindeer spoke in tongue, its voice undulating, soaring, dipping. The two boys couldn't be lover, the creature seemed to say. Krampus' heart broke. Pampus said "No no, This is a hard to understand reindeer dialect, but i think it said your love's like a four-leafed clover!" Crampus' mood swung up like the deer's musical speech about doe-eyed little deer frolicking through fields of wildflowers. Crampus nearly went into a song and dance number, but just in time Bambi and Thumper arrived. It was time for Bambi's enema. Meek even for a deer, it took only 8 lumberjacks to hold him down. No one was thrilled about his upcoming colonoscopy, but the wildflowers would be richly fertilized and when Man returned again to the forest, they would find themselves hip-deep in Bambi boom-boom. That would teach them to kill his mother! Now a hero, (and clean as a whistle), strode confidently into the newly regrown forest. He had a huge knapsack on his back, filled with shotguns. His plan was to arm each and every dear in the forest in honor of Bambi It had been a while since we had last seen Bambi. Seems she had another whack job wrapped around her finger equivalent appendage. Bambi's involvement changed things. Her doe eyes , cute ears and that spring in her step were simply irresistible, and regardless of the situation would always be fawned over. We decided to go and eat venison.

 

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