Testing...1..2..she said into the microphone,

Testing...1..2..she said into the microphone, her hands shaking at her sides.

The sound man's voice boomed through the monitors, "I said LOUDER. Jeff show her?" Jeff leered at Sally as he put his lips on the Shure SM58 and shouted, "CHECK ONE TWOTWOTWOTWO!"

Sally wrestled the Shure SM58 from Jeff's prehensile grasp. "I think that two is usually followed by three, four and, if I'm not mistaken, five, then..." Jeff clamped his hand over

Let's slam them all into the fry maker, never mind if that potato was actually a prop in Star Wars. Come, them all in, filigreed, to be munched, freshly fried.

The delicious sticks of potato bubbled and boiled away in the hot oil. The kitchen was overflowing with the crisp aroma of crunchy fries. Every seagull in the vicinity swooped on

my house, trying to get my delicious fries. In a frenzy, they busted through the windows and flapped wildly into the kitchen. One got too close and toppled into the deep frier.

In an instant, the seagull was encased in searing oil. Its screeches faded to gasps, and then to nothing. ‘A perfect chicken nugget...’ I thought. ‘Can I sell this?’

"Sure", the old man said, "as long as I get my 50%." The old man brandished the most shiteating grin I ever saw & I thought even if I had to do time for Strike 2, killing him would

be -- WHAM! I crumpled to the ground. Why that...the old man slugged me before I had even had a chance! He ground his heel into my neck. "Make that 60%...and a date with Clamydia!"

"OK I swear!" "Is this her? Didn't know she's THAT pretty!" Thus the old man in an aside to me once I'd delivered. I shrugged. If a hooker loaded with STD is what floats his boat..