What is it with you teenagers these days? Seriously.Life is really not as bad as you think.Don't listen to what the media tells you.The world is yours,Chicas, and everything in it. Am I wrong on the assumption of you bitchy ass chicas? Miguel Bosé loved you skankmachines so much he titled an album after you. But seriously. Life ain't bad or suck. It's just Dan Akroyd trying to imitate hip-hop culture!" And Dan Akroyd jumped through the wall wearing gold chains and said, "Yo." The studio producers exchanged annoyed glances. "Dan," Eitzel Heisenburp said, "we appreciate the work you did in The Blues Brothers. But that's about it. Go home. It's over." Dan lowered his head and drifted sideways off the Expressway ramp at the Spaghetti Bowl interchange, never seen or heard from again. John Belushi was at the Billy Goat Tavern, celebrating his birthday. Strictly speaking he was just getting drunk but it was his birthday so let's call it "celebrating". Anyway, the problem with never being heard or seen again is how small the circle of people is that even remember you existed at all. So "our hero" is getting drunk to "celebrate" his birthday, & begins to doubt he exists. If a fellow celebrates alone on noone else's dime, then was money actually spent? This made his head hurt thinking about it. He decided to drink more. Unfortunately, he had been ignoring the pounding headache which wracked the back oh his skull. He was as surprised as the rest of the bar's patrons when his eyes rolled back and he collapsed. "WTH, Protexia!" he shouted in his mind. "Don't worry, Joe. Your Vsys had to update some metabolism apps and reboot." A moment later he sprang back to life in the pub, to cheers.

 

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