The dark blue curtains parted and a voice off stage said "In the beginning was the word..." "I knew it!" yelled a humanities major in the audience. An irate science major threw up in the kinky hair of a student earning an interdisciplinary Phd. It looked like hot peanutbrittle making love to sheep's wool. The Irate Science major wiped his mouth on the pro tractor and experienced a total eclipse of the heart. Matt was his name and science was his game...that and erotic wooly peanutbutter scent of the kinky-haired woman before him. Matt looked passionately into her eyes and said "I ardently love and admire you. I have been a fool and you cannot deny me your feelings, for my feelings are only driven by your feelings which, in turn, are indubitedly driven by, I dunno, hormones? the weather?" Matt swallowed... "and another thing, my love for you cannot be gainsaid. Nay, never let it be mentioned again. I deny the very notion of love, the primacy of energy, and even the mere existence of matter." He looked away, severely, towards a mountaintop. "You're a jackass." "Aren't all of us jackasses, who don't think critically?", I asked. He nodded, saying it was time to move forward. Tempus fugit! I hiked up my gear and fell in behind Waldo with the Waldo. He that should have been something that only ever existed in bad storytelling by people without faces sending votives vi -cariously via wishful thinking. Waldo became annoyed with me for following him so closely, but I didn't want to lose sight of him in the crowd. That was always a nightmare. So I tied our shoe laces to each other's. We had to learn to walk in unison but, once we got that down it was smooth sailing. The only problem was I didn't know how to hide very well.



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