From my mind, through my fingers, into the

From my mind, through my fingers, into the CPU via keyboard, across the internet, into your CPU, onto your screen, read by your eyes, and into your mind, comes

Richard Simmons. You read his name and that means he's invaded your consciousness now. You cannot not think of Richard Simmons. Everything you do from now on, Richard Simmons will

appear behind you, whispering friendly suggestions about ways you could do it better. Eventually you'll have a permanent imprint of Richard Simmons behind your eyeballs.

That's when the raving madness starts. Your hair turns into a big orange fro. Your pants shrink into tiny little shorts. You play Deal a Meal until you lose your life's savings.

You can't handle losing the savings and end up on cellphone video going off at a drama llama who said she missed Obama. You told her about where to get firearms training & to be re

al careful not to try too hard at aiming because when the tunnel vision hits, that just means you're in the zone. That didn't work out for you, though. Here's what really happened:

Todd had an affair with Misa the crazy cat lady. Theda knew about it the moment she found the cat hair on his underwear. Theda left Todd and ran straight into the arms of Gordo,

Gordo, who's real name was Famine, invited Todd to hang out with Theda and him. Netflix and Ménage à trois. "Both your names are Death. Theda=Death, Tod, German for Death. The Band

disturbed erupted with heavy riffs! Gordo as he liked to be called was hanging with his friend. Ironic that both their names were uniquely significant; it didnt bother disturbed to

be called disturbed, because he WAS disturbed. And Gordo? Someone had knocked the “n” off “Gordon” to come up with that one. He liked Gordo better because it made him sound fierce.