I looked tomy dock and thought that I saw Travis Mcgee and Myer sitt5ing topside of the "Busted Flush", but no. Travis and company were from the never were, and ravis and company were also from the never were, in that they never were, which means they could not have ever been from the never were, which was never the point. So anyway, a Hippo swallowed me. It was actually pretty nice in there. I set up a time share with Jed and Frank, a nice gay couple from Yorkshire. Sure the stomach acid got in the way every now and then, but as long as I didn't have to participate I could care less what they did during their time share. I reserved my times for the spring breaks and sought out the young college girls. But first things first, I had to pay a visit to the liquor store around the corner to make sure I had enough "liquid courage." My equation is simple, girls + booze = first base. girls + more booze + movie - halitosis = second base. girls + keys to dad's convertible + dental dam = third base and my equation for home base was girls + booze + a wedding ring, which I realize now was probably the worst way to score. Apparently when it goes that far, girls want something called "commitment" which I always thought meant a rubber room with a strait jacket. I found speed dating a bit puzzling. It took me a while to discover they were more than one woman. This would explain why there were 19 men speed-dating alongside me and only one woman. It all became clear when she leaned forward and, hoping for a glimpse of her rack, I stared down her shirt and saw a metal control panel. This woman was a robot, as suspected. Women have been extinct for five years now, but we all try and live our lives as normal. A tear rolled down my cheek.

 

Comments

1 gbgbgbgb's photo

What a twist ending! ;_;

2 Bad.'s photo

Indeed, the ending brought me to tears. Such raw emotion in only 180 characters.

3 Sarimus's photo

Had to resist the obvious, hilarious reading this back

4 Chaz's photo

“SO ANYWAY, a Hippo swallowed me.” - Somebody seems a little distracted. :)

5 Bad.'s photo

Haha, I’m just happy he worked off the opener that I didn’t wanna touch :P

6 Chaz's photo

RE: Hippo, I was talking about the charcter, It’s a great line.

7 SlimWhitman's photo

He lulls you into never were land and then the Hippo just comes out of nowhere . Hilarious.

8 sundancer's photo

This is a truly amazing folding story. Well done everyone!

9 SlimWhitman's photo

The mother of all Hippo stories, and one of my all time favorites.

10 buddyboy4711's photo

Hi all. I just did an undramatic reading of this story. Dunno if the link works, but my cosmic finger-crossing powers should swing the odds:
http://www.mediafire.com/listen/cznwiwnj8dg0y5b/TheMotherOfAllHippoStories.mp3

11 Chaz's photo

buddyboy4711, I was sitting on the bus, and this guy sat right next to me, and began to tell this story… Great rendition!

12 KieferSkunk's photo

I just jumped on the bandwagon - here’s a reading of one my recent favorites. :)  Linked from http://foldingstory.com/o151w/

13 KieferSkunk's photo

...and just did another one here: http://foldingstory.com/fs9qm/ :)

14 KieferSkunk's photo

...okay, I promise this is the last one for now: http://foldingstory.com/lz3aj/ (3)

You must be logged in to comment

You can Log in now or Sign up for a new account