"List of Things I Have to Do Today" 1. Scrub the toilet 2. Do my laundry 3. Walk Fido 4. Find out what I have in the refridgerator and make dinner 5. Find the car keys I lost last time I scrubbed the toilet - could there be a connection? 6. Find the car I lost last time I walked Fido - ditto. 7. Telephone mother. 8. Find a girlfriend. 9. Clean blood from back car I found in 6. that I used to car-walk Fido. 10 Buy a new Fido and bury old Fido. 11. Stop watching Letterman's Top Ten. 12 Send my list to Letterman. 13. Stop making list -erine popsicles. 14. Try to remember that thing I forgot. 15. Make a list of everyone on the Hollywood blacklist. 16. Make a list of all the playlists of the first generation 17. World domination 18. Resolve the SALT talks. 19. Cure for Cancer 20. Rearrange my sock drawer 21. Remember to pick up baking powder (Pancakes YUM!) 22. Start stocking up on rogaine®, Viagra® & pepto for the retirement years. 23. Count number of hairs left in my "barcode". 24. Have my will drawn up so that no good cheating tramp -oline salesman who slept with that no good cheating tramp wife of mine gets my anthrax collection in the mail. 25. Catch 'em all! 25a. Capture a Gideon 26. Reread LOTR 27. Make a conglomerate list of all my other lists with color coding for importance and urgency. 28) Take the vacuum in for servicing. 29) Vacuum house. 30) Check with Manatee P.I. regarding my lost diamond encrusted toilet plunger. I had the Manatee P.I. searching the entire Bay of Biscay for it after it got sucked through my toilet after I laid an especially large Taco Bell inspired dump. Huge. I had to get the plunger after it and BOOM gone. They did eventually find it. One of those wily sea turtles had made off with it. Case closed.



1 SlimWhitman's photo

Excellent. my list is on the internet. Now I’ll never lose it.

2 DanMars's photo

Ha Ha, this is great!

3 SlimsBro's photo

And in an ironic twist, the email after the one informing me this fold was finished said “Take the plunge!”

5 gbgbgbgb's photo

I love this story so much. Grats for making the August newsletter!

6 sundancer's photo

Awww thanks for making my story featured this month! :-)

7 DanMars's photo

It’s impressive how many people continued with the list, nice!

8 buddyboy4711's photo

Happy to see this one make the Newsletter. And congrats to SlimWhitman, 49erFaithful, and Chaz for surpassing 1,000 likes!

9 49erFaithful's photo

The cyber-champagne and -cigars are on me! Some great lines in this one for sure.

10 Chaz's photo

An infinite number of monkeys is jealous :)

11 SlimsBro's photo

I’m so proud of my bro… *sniff*

12 m80's photo

Well deserved!

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