Yup...it's that time of year again. The 30th

Yup...it's that time of year again. The 30th Annual Lowcountry Oyster Festival is one of the world's largest foodie events. But there are some, uh, "implications" to eating oysters

. For instance, Jasper Billwonger, who was last year's raw oyster eating contest champion, was also the kid known for swallowing his own loogies. The Lowcountry Oyster Festival

was the pride and joy of the county, whose sole industry was that of the oyster processing persuasion. Normally no self-respecting tourist would ever deign to go to those smelly

outhouses. But the South Mimms Bivalve Appreciation Society had booked in for a 2 week programme touring the oyster beds & shelling sheds. Nothing so exciting had happened since

the offshore oil rig had exploded and flooded the coast with petroleum. Now that the recovery was "complete", Governor Forrest Gump expected increased tourism and an improved

Rate of hiring among the oil companies for the cleanup job. Three Martians volunteered, saying the petroleum was rocket fuel for their spaceships. They also used dirty socks.

Dirty Socks was the gumba that ran the black market in the space piers. So the 3 Martians, inadvertently, were admitting that they knew who their Crimelord was. This chilled thei

-r green hearts to the core. Dirty Socks would blame them for squealing. The 3 Martians decided the only way out was to leave the planet. They leapt into their green pie pan and

jetted off towards the nearest warp gate. Their experience had been nonetheless a complete nightmare and would serve as a warning to all potential alien visitors.