40

"Because you have no ass." That upset her.

  • "Because you have no ass." That upset her. She had a face. She had class. She nice breasts. But it was true, she had no ass.

    3
  • Vampire Ass was an unfortunate malady passed down to her from her mother, along with some more favorable assets. But her ass cast no shadow. Flustered, she blurted

    5
  • out to the lecture theatre of genetic scientists "Generations of my family have suffered from the Vampire Ass condition!" The scientists turned to see a lady in tears hunched over

    5
  • a walking stick. "What is this Vampire Ass condition?" one scientist asked. The lady stared at them in horror, as if they were insane for not knowing what she was talking about.

    4
  • The walking stick slapped its side in disbelieve at their ignorance.Even the insectworld knew about Vampire Ass a.k.a Fangbutt & these scientists,ignorant nincompoops, had no idea

    3
  • that their very asses were in the line of fire. Their attention, however, was more concerned over the fire that the local cuisine was shooting out of those same asses. Fangbutt smi

    3
  • felt his buttocks sear with very real flames, melting his bubbling, glutinous flesh until he was fused to the tacky formica chair. He screamed around. Others shared his same fate.

    4
  • They could not leave their chrome-sided stools, but were left to spin helplessly as the lemon merengue pie began to steam and bubble in its cake dish. He knew he should never have

    4
  • entered this cooking competition. Like Icarus, he had flown too close to the sun and was now melting into a sticky burnt mess. "I trusted you!" he shouted at Jane, "How could you

    5
  • Sabotage my soufflé???" But Jane didn't answer. Jane was busy sizzling gently in her own juices with an apple sticking out of her mouth. Chef Longpig caught his eye, and smiled.

    4

1 Comments

  1. LordVacuity Oct 05 2019 @ 11:27

    Who caught his other eye? Tell me he had it with Dijon mustard.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!