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I opened the valentine. Inside were 4 plastic

  • I opened the valentine. Inside were 4 plastic corn cob holders and a card that read: "I want to kiss you behind the ears." That's it. Nothing else. And it wasn't signed.

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  • My eyes wandered to each of my travel companions in turn. The lion? A coward. The woodsman? No heart. The scarecrow? He looked at my balefully, the corny grin gave him away.

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  • I was surrounded by idiots in todo. The lion's main thing was to seem fierce. The tin man wanted to test his metal. The scarecrow grasped at straws. This was not going to be easy

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  • , but I decided to live off the land. I didn't want anything to do with "Wicked witches" and "Wizards of Oz". I'd just tease the trees until they threw apples for me to eat and

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  • Then make applesauce to he canned. I would wait for the grape vines to grow the right grapes for making my own dandelion wine in the basement. The dandelions were always waiting to

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  • bloom in their own time, in their own way. "Just give them space, and time will sort everything out."

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  • If nothing else, remember what Charles Fort said. "It steam engines when it steam engine times". Everything will come into fullness whether it is religion or science, or both. Puzz

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  • -led? Me too. But Charles Fort isn't puzzled, the putz. He thinks that just because he spouts nonsense, he knows everything. But he doesn't know that I am running away with his

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  • shoelaces as he continues his diatribe about how the Earth is flat. We all know it was proven 1150 years ago the Earth is actually rectangular. I ran faster clutching the laces in

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  • my left hand and an atlas in my right. I stopped outside his mother's house and banged on the door. "The Earth is rectangle! Tell your children!" I shouted. She closed the curtain.

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2 Comments

  1. Kyerra Oct 30 2018 @ 22:42

    Bunnycookies, I am laughing way too hard at that sentence! I love it!

  2. PurpleProf Oct 31 2018 @ 21:49

    I remember starting this story because my husband (aka "Jefforama") actually did this one year for Valentine's Day. He thought he was being so clever and funny. Huh.

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